The Space Where Learning Happens

“Pick up those toys.” “Eat your peas.” “Everyone line up.” How many times a day do we use the language of command when we talk with children? The problem with commands is that there are only two possible responses – obey, or disobey. There is no real “space” for thinking.

To help children learn we need to give them information instead of commands. How does that work? Let’s take the example of the toys that need to be picked up. After announcing that we can go outside when all the toys are picked up, I can tell a child, “I see some blocks on the floor over there.” This is a statement of fact. The child can look at the blocks and think about the information. The child might pick them up, might ignore me, might watch as another child picks them up, might pick up something else, might start playing with something, or might do something else entirely. Evaluating information (thinking) and then acting on it is how learning happens.

Of course learning is a messy process. I might need to point out some things that are still on the floor. It might take longer than I had planned. It might cause conflict (“Sam was playing with the blocks! Why didn’t Sam pick them up?”). It might even lead into all kinds of interesting conversations about what’s fair, or who is responsible for stuff. Hopefully we will eventually get outside, but none of it is “wasted” time, because it is rich with thinking and learning.

Let’s try another one. Instead of “Eat your peas,” you can say. “I made fish, peas and rice for dinner. What would you like?” In the “thinking space” your child can listen to their body, think about past experiences with those foods, make a choice, evaluate their choice, decide (learn) that peas taste good today, or maybe that they taste yucky!. You can reinforce that learning with statements like “I like these peas because the taste reminds me of summer. It looks like you liked them too.” (Or, “it looks like you didn’t want them today.”) Your information statements leave lots of “space” for thinking and learning.

Even babies can benefit from information statements. My baby is fussing and I think it’s time for a diaper change. When I was a young mom my reaction would be to scoop up my son without comment, plop him on the changing table while he is fussing even more, and get down to the diaper changing business. For a baby, this is the same as a command statement. There is no “space” for thinking and learning. Let’s try information statements. I make eye contact with my baby and say, “You sound uncomfortable. Maybe you need a clean diaper. I’m going to pick you up and check.” I leave a little “thinking space” and watch my baby’s reaction, then I carefully pick them up and put them on the changing table. While I go through the changing process I continue to make information statements before each step. I also watch my baby for reactions and make information statements about that too: “That baby wipe was cold. It made you shiver.” Think of all the learning that is taking place in those “thinking spaces”!

Learning to use Information statements instead of command statements takes a lot of practice, and doesn’t come naturally to most of us, but the more we do it the easier it becomes. Soon you will see the light bulb going on over children’s heads when you give them that important “space” where learning happens.

Written by Anne Withers, Child Development Council